guest entry – shut up, comedians. LOL
The gig pays £125, Stevenage, Herts.
Hello mate,
I’m assuming that Trojan isn’t your real name, unless you’re that bloke from Gladiators who’s fallen on hard times. LOL.
Anyhoo Troje, I know we haven’t met yet. But I saw your post on chortle and wanted to let you know that I have heard good things about your clubs and would be happy to be the headliner for you on the 16th December, although I will be doubling up if that’s okay?
I’ve been doing comedy for just over a year and in that time I’ve stacked up 577 gigs. I’ve always done well and a lot of people tell me that I’m a natural. I have references from some of the best acts on the U.K. and international circuit. I was robbed during the Laughing Horse competition. That’ll teach me to go to Hackney. LOL. I supported some names on tour as well after only my fifth gig and I can tailor my material to suit any audience, from after dinner speaking with posh people to Chavs who attend football clubs. I can speak a bit slower if it makes it easier for them. I don’t usually come out for less than 130, but you can buy me a pint if you like and a whisky chaser to make up the difference. I won’t be driving. I assume that you will provide transport for me.
Does the Fee include accommodation? I’m coming from London.
I’m in between agents at the moment (And not in a good way) LOL. So it’s best to contact me directly on this email. My website is working at the moment and the guy at comedy CV refused to put the quote from Ricky Gervais that said, “Thank God I’ve never had to be on the bill with Dave. He’s a genius.” So I asked him to remove it from his site.
If you need to know anything else then please let me know.
I am very much in demand at themoment. I gig for nearly everyone and would love to play with you at your club/s. Just ask if you need to know anything else.
Thanks for reading this.
He follows it up.
I’ll admit that I don’t have a quote from THE Ricky Gervais. The truth is that I used to work with a bloke called Richard Jarvis. He didn’t call me a genius, but poetic license and all that. His actual words were, “massive penis” which I might use in my publicity if I have to do a ladies night again.
Via Chortle
577 “gigs” in one year? Assuming that means if he says something witty whilst preparing the pot noodle for one he’s crying into that night that counts as a “gig”? That joke about immigrants he told at his three year old god daughter’s birthday, that’s a gig? Being fired from his agent (in a bad way – LULZ) for being, I quote, a “massive penis”, did he get a snide comment in and does that count as a “gig”? Good grief…