After debut performance at [a venue] last Saturday which left spectators stunned and asking where they’re playing next, [the band] are ready with their new line up and are seeking to elevate thier profile by gigging at your prestigious venue.
Be warned however that they are a ‘real deal’, time-served rock group and will blow off stage any small timers. So be sure to put them on with someone who can hold their own and who have a few fans! Failing that, they are a safe headline act and have a few fans of their own.
Hope this email finds you very well, please may i ask could you check out young bucks 2 piece [Generic One Word Band Name] brand new video & debut single
Brand new song based guitar/indie/rock.. very analogue/lo fi.. but very commercial as well… these kids love songs & ‘Teenage Kicking!’
Total dad manager.
Hi there i notice you have live bands in [the venue] and i would love you to have my bands come play a gig in your pub i have proffessional bands that can deliver a solid great punchy vibe with a fantastic vocal range we specialise in reggae music and would love to entertain your diverse crowd who i am sure will appreciate them. I can arrange for you to listen to the bands songs by sending you some music to listen to please get in contact with me so i can arrange this soonest i kook forward to your reply
As seen on MTV and billboards everywhere. Urban artist ENV will be hitting up venues across the UK with his Sweet Nightmare tour after returning recently from Germany.
ENV and the Associates have been winning critical acclaim up and down the country with this tour and students have been going mad for not only the music and high energy shows but also the free gifts given away.
CC’d to like a 100 venues and publications.
Stead told us your e-mail contact, I hope you dont mind if i ask you about your venue and concerts! We are the hungarian experimental duo called [Band Name]. We are planning our UK / London tour. Do you have any opportunity to play a gig at your place? Maybe on october-november would be good for us… it would be the best solution for us that if we could join for a festival and play with more bands. Is it any music festival in the future at your place what is fit for our style? So its just a short and debut e-mail so we would like to know that how is the experimental scene at your place. What are the rules and opportunities? (conditions, accommodations, payment, travel costs etc.) What do you think about this idea?
Thank you very much and greetings from Hungary!
about us: llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
[Band Name] are two Hungarian experimental musicians and visual artists. Formally, they play in experimental-noise style with folk and dark ambient elements. Otherwise, usually their performances contain improvised and instictive sounds and harsh guitar noises. Some roared lyrics with experimental phonation sometimes with a live looping performance. The pair has a strong unit. The distorted industrial instrumentation (guitar, keyboard, flut) serving as counterpoint and complement to Kinga’s poetry, which takes the form of aggressive growls, and wails. Their work is characterized by alienation and sometimes their sounding makes the listener feel uncomfortable.
Do u have interest in buy high fashion glass cups from China?
Currently,we have a few artiles of hand made which is two walls.Some of them are skull shape cups,strong man shape cups,lady shape cups,etc,
We can print your logo on it if u need. The attacked are the price list with product pictures in it.
If u have interest,pls tell me.
This is the ‘sexual strong man’ cup.
And this is a ‘Christmas glass cup’. Your guess is as good as mine.
Subject: Inquiry – [not provided]
Hi Sir or Madam,
I came across [not provided] via a published event online and I wanted to schedule a call to find out a little more about your business and the events you run.
We work with nightlife venues, promoters and organisers to supply a unique broadcast and publishing service that reaches up to 50 event listing sites and delivers new business inquiries, ticket requests, group and pre-bookings.
We have a great track record of increasing exposure and increasing ticket sales, I’d like to see if there is a business opportunity between us and [not provided] too.
Please let me know when the most suitable time to discuss would be.
How about never? (He will call anyway. And again. And again. And again…)
Do you remember BRAIN DEATH ZOMBIE?
Our manager and frontman visited you a few days ago.
This alleged meeting never happened.
We would like to have a gig,so I am writing a message to you.
We would like to play more and more.
If you give us a chance, our manager and frontman are going to visit you again.
That almost sounds like a threat.
This is BRAIN DEATH ZOMBIE’s biografhy and infomation!!
Please Check it!!
BRAIN DEATH ZOMBIE are…
Genre: Heavy Rock
Formed in May 2011 in Kobe, Japan, BRAIN DEATH ZOMBIE is signed to SPACE DOG Record. They played extensively headlining their own shows as well as supporting Glen Matlock in August 2011.
They released the 1st album BRAIN DEATH ZOBMIE in March 2012.
Relocated in London in Oct 2012, they are currently attracting UK fans.
Tool . Soulfly. Korn. Killswitch Engage . Ill Nino. Ministry. Skinny Puppy. John Murphy. Portishead. Ruby Throat. Sankai Juku.
You are invited to the mystery tour of our world of good and evil. Absorb the euphoria, lose your breath and enter the realm of the blind. Condense your anger to the max and release it! Be aware! The world has drowned you. With the newfound deadly awareness you will sleep well like a crying soul…lost.
Ooh, BLIMEY. :-(
This was regarding a gig at an acoustic venue, by the way.
They sound as you might expect. I can particularly recommend ‘Death Million’.
goodmorning is it possible one live ?of valerio scanu italian sanremo winner 2010 very famous in italy an suisse all the best
Yup. That was the whole email.
A series of emails sent around 1am on a Monday to a venue, compiled for your viewing pleasure. The bits in square brackets are ours. The rest is theirs. ENJOY. I think.
here is the date of _ execution as _
_ with full torture.
and here is your _ as _ .
_ as _
I’m sitting right there.
ask me about it.
maybe you can save them.
PS you have to take _ _ _ .
that’s the flip.
in the car.
_ and _
pick up the phone in 10 minutes the us army have their names. we know
that _ is still there and _ is at the bar.
they will be executed under their wigs as if you don’t put [Guitarist From A Reasonably Well Known Hackney Band]
on the phone out there.
and if you don’t pick up they will both be tortured.
[10 minutes later...]
thanks your _ are _
_ from the _ that deals in the [The Venue] in London confesses to
_ and _ pass my spells.
they are _.
thank you for your time.
The US ARMY HAVE THIS NOW.
_ is DEAD!
when you watch _ _, you can think of the phone calls that maybe could
have saved their lives.
That’s your flip.
PS – they won’t.
the last thing _ hears will probably be the ringing of a phone.
PS _ ENJOY THE REAL FLIP.
you’ll be begging for _.
Wow, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here huh?
_ confesses to manslaughter charges.
The following names were _ in here, but _ _ _ .
a dump with a chav in it (_ IN THE _) ps you’re a _ now. go drop LSD bitch.
WOW. look at all that crime.
no wonder I’ve heard of your shit bar.
Good morning , ma name ‘s edward, some people call me ugobam.
What it ‘s yea, i ‘ve been recording wit a studio in soho, oxford. They asked me to go to places n sing, do open Mic so people can hear it. They gave me the beats to the song in a cd to sing on top of it. Ma link….
please don’t mind ma crap video. I just called friends n did it wit dem sometime ago. Many thanks, ed.
Raiding the email archives from the last couple of years, when suddenly…
Transporting listeners to a place where melody reigns, sounds clash and combine, and feedback fills the sky, HOWL is a state of mind as much as a band. Hailing from North Ayrshire, this four-piece force is on a musical mission to restore rock to its rightful place: the hearts and minds of the people.
We like noise, and we like it in large quantities. When asked what drives HOWL, the answer is simple – a shared love of music, and a shared love of playing it loud and fast. Drawing influences from a multitude of styles, it is rock and roll that keeps the hearts of HOWL beating to the same drum.
Lyrically deep, musically profound, will make you smile, break your heart & fill you with a feeling of vitality never before deemed possible via the means of audio. Songs filled with infectious melodies, soft, yet stubborn & angry in all the right places. Cheeky & witty, diverse, yet distinctive. A sound derived from the fun & struggles of everyday life, dripping with a hunger & a drive to improve.
Yeah sure, we could sit back & work nine to five jobs watching the world go by, but we know we’re not here for that, We’re here to entertain. With one direction, one aim and one sound. A sound that ignites, delights and uplifts leaving you with a sense of fulfilment and a belief that maybe, just maybe, ‘HOWL’ are here to make the world a better place…
If you’ve been waiting for something, anything, to save you from the vagaries of daily existence, this is your chance to escape – even for a little while. And it really couldn’t be simpler. Just press play, and let the music do the rest.
Apparently if I take a pic of The National and put it in my portfolio without consulting their people first, it could cause them “irreparable damage.” Well, fancy that.
(Source: Music Photographers)
I’m [Name] and I’m 14 years old. I play the guitar and sing, both covers and originals. I was wondering what I would have to do to get a gig at [Venue]?
I tried to upload a video of me performing one of my own songs at the [Different Venue] last week but it exceeded the limit. If you would like to hear me, some of my songs are on iTunes. Sorry about that!
My boyfriend and I had the pleasure of going to [The Venue] yesterday and listening to the live music.
My boyfriend is excellent at playing the electric guitar, his range includes folk and old rock such as Lynard Skynard, Thin Lizzy, Led Zeppelin to name but a few. He also gigged as a Ricky Martin tribute act five years ago, and so he has an accomplished live voice and is comfortable playing to crowds. I would like to add here that that is certainly not his music of choice!
He’ll be glad you mentioned it then.
Hi we are rock/alternative band, giging around london. Would be a pleasure to play at your venue.
We can also offer really good 1:30h set doing covers as a duo getting paid.
Yeah, that should do it.
I’m a singersong writer from Barcelona (Spain). I don’t know how the music world works there in England, but I’m trying to find some places where I could act; that’s why I’m writing to you.
I do some English pop-rock music, kind of peaceful sound (I hope), and I want to go to London so that people can understand what I’m saying.
Hi if you need to book the next real thing for an hotel event/party BOOK my tribute shows…..remember its cheaper to book me direct
Thanks, I remember.
1,relaxing swing show for the chilling mood.. 2,ROBBIE WILLIAMS show..3,NEIL DIAMOND show.. attached is some info sound clips if you need anymore please let me know
im quiet in june july aug sept due to being on ships lastyear,
im in Norway beginning of march, i really appreciate if you can put some dates my way for my 3 shows tributes
robbie and neil diamond,or swing..
the tribute shows prices depending on travel are from £300-£550 in the uk only…
No thanks, Lee.
Or, “The Worst Event Invite I Ever ‘Ad”
Hi Shut Up, Bands
Having won multiple awards including ‘Outstanding Services to the Industry’ at the London Club & Bar Awards 2012 and ‘Best UK Promoter 2008′ [really? - SUB], SINTILLATE have hosted over 7000 parties and are famous for our Champagne Spray Parties at Ocean Club in Marbella! Some of the videos we produced from our parties have had over 1 million hits on Youtube.
We have had the who’s who of celebrities attend our parties over the years with recent guests including One Direction, The Wanted, Little Mix, Bruno Mars, Drake, Tulisa, Alesha Dixon, Katie Price, Joe Calzaghe, Amir Khan, the cast of Hollyoaks, TOWIE, Geordie Shore, Made In Chelsea and many more! [I'm sold - SUB]
Every Saturday, SINTILLATE welcomes the Capital’s elite to enjoy an amazing night in the truly spectacular venue, Shaka Zulu. This two floored open plan ‘Vegas styled’ Camden venue boasts 20ft statues, escalators descending from the ground level entrance and a state of the art sound system. It’s easy to see why Shaka Zulu recently won ‘Best Interior’ at The London Club & Bar Awards 2012. [And it still manages to look horrific - SUB]
This two floored venue boasts a capacity of over 800 guests and set over groundbreaking 27,000sq feet, it’s the pinnacle of partying within The Stables Market in Camden. Shaka Zulu immerses you in Africa [bet they don't even play Toto - SUB] as you take a step inside the beautifully designed venue with carved wooden murals covering every inch of its walls and ceilings. It really is a beautiful space to host a SINTILLATE party!
We return to the stunning Shaka Zulu this Saturday, with SINTILLATE Director of Music Rich Stone joining us to play an eclectic set of house, club classics and disco. [All ma fave genres. How did I get on this list? Must've joined it whilst drunk - SUB]
We’ve fantastic music from our world class DJ’s, you?ll be swept away in the amazing atmosphere as you party the night away in gorgeous surroundings of Shaka Zulu; just ask Tom from The Wanted or Jennifer Metcalfe as seen in Hollyoaks [OK, I will - SUB], who’ve both celebrated their birthdays with us recently!